IT’S SNOWING SO MUCH I BROKE MY KNEES.

THEN I ATE SOME PITTA BREADS.

You have Apachai to thank for this title.

So… it’s 1/1/10. What, do you expect me to say something profound? It’s a new decade? Dawn of the new horizon of wonderful shining shiny stars?

Only not really, nothing will change. I’ll save the profound stuff for 2012 if the world really does end. That’s a shame come to think of it, as you’ll all be dead and thus not able to read it. Well no matter, I will always be here regardless, so too will Apachai. If there’s only one thing you can trust in, trust in the tales of rage, for there will always be rage. Even if I was alone in the universe, I would find things to rage about.

New decades are nice and so on but that’s not the reason I made this post, nah I’m gonna talk about Dragon Age. To be specific, I will do a “brief” rundown or summary of Montolio, my first character, and the choices he made throughout the story. Naturally there’ll be spoilers here so don’t read if you don’t want to know what can happen in the story.

For starters, Montolio was a human noble, warrior class. For the sake of keeping it Montolio’y, I will refer to Fergus or whatever his name was as Erthus. Because it’s sort of close to the original FFID beginning anyway, right? Also I’ve changed some small things that didn’t actually happen, mostly because it made no sense (example, Dog killing the Dwarf criminal etc, why not split up if you’ve such a large party?)

So Montolio Cousland starts off in the family estate, he finds his dog “Apachai” terrorising the cooks and after crunching some rats he goes to find his brother, Erthus, who is soon to be heading off with their father to fight the Darkspawn Blight in the south. Montolio is understandably a little irritated how he is forced to stay behind, it’s not that he exactly wants to fight, he just doesn’t want the others to go, he has an unexplainable bad feeling. Never the less, Erthus marches out after saying his goodbyes and Montolio is rudely awoken later that night by Arl Howe’s men, who had been waiting for just this chance. Fighting his way through the estate with Apachai and his mother, Montolio eventually finds his father, fatally wounded. Erthus has already left, none the wiser of the Arl’s betrayal. At this point Duncan shows up and insists that Montolio leave with him to become a Grey Warden, after some considerable hesitance, Montolio agrees, leaving his parents to their fate.

After arriving in Ostagar with Duncan with nothing but the sword and clothes on his person and his faithful mabari hound Apachai, Mont briefly explores the camp, feeding a prisoner in exchange for his key and having a brief discussion with a Mage from the Circle named Wynne. Having met Alistair and the two other Grey Warden recruits, he then sets out into the Korcari(?) Wilds to obtain the vials, bandaging up a wounded Soldier and sending him on his way, eventually they collect the three vials of darkspawn blood and instead of finding the Warden documents, find a witch by the name of Morrigan instead. Ignoring the worries of the other recruits, Montolio, graceful as ever, asks that Morrigan takes them to her mother, one Flemeth, to recover the documents.

After returning to Ostagar and undergoing the ceremony to become a Grey Warden, Montolio barely has time to gather his thoughts before the attack begins. Whilst the King and Duncan fight on the front lines, Alistair and Montolio, much to their chagrin, are sent to light the tower of Ishal, the signal for Loghain, the King’s General, to begin his flanking attack. Upon arrival at the tower, they find it somehow flooded with darkspawn, never the less the two Wardens, a tower guard and a tower mage begin to reclaim the tower, clearing out the darkspawn. Upon reaching the top level of the tower, they are greeted by an Ogre, the guard and mage were swiftly overwhelmed and it fell down to Montolio and Alistair to fell the beast, and whilst Montolio drew its attention, Alistair delivered the killing blow with his short sword. Moments after lighting the signal, the pair were overwhelmed by darkspawn and knocked unconscious. Loghain, instead of attacking at the signal, retreated, leaving the King, Duncan and all of the Grey Wardens to die.

Mont awoke some time later in Flemeth’s hut, the Witch Morrigan watching over him. After a quick talk where it was revealed Flemeth rescued the two from the tower, and discovering the fate of the King, not to mention Duncan, Mont thanked Morrigan for tending to his wounds and moved outside to speak with Alistair and their savior, Flemeth, revealed to indeed be the Flemeth. An ancient witch of the wilds of incredible power. Despite his protests, Montolio somehow became the leader of the group, Alistair, despite being the senior Grey Warden of the two survivors, was reluctant to take on that role. Not that Montolio was exactly eager, but he bit the bullet so to speak. After a discussion of what to do next, they settled on the nearby village of Lothering. Flemeth then surprised Alistair by suggesting Morrigan go along with them, Montolio graciously welcomed the help, keeping his suspicions of the Witch to himself. After all, if she betrayed them, he would simply have to beat her down.

On arrival at Lothering, the small group was beset by highwaymen, at Montolio’s… strong suggestion. The bandits realised it was not in their best interest to attack a Grey Warden and his companions, then after stripping the highwaymen of their spoils, Montolio neglected to hand him in to the authorities and ignored Morrigan’s idea to “teach them a lesson” and instead sent them on their way. Moving further into the village, they came across a distraught woman, assailing a man who was selling his wares to the refugees at full price. Despite Morrigan berating the woman, claiming this was merely survival of the fittest, Montolio convinced the man to lower his wares. Then after calming down a madman who had witnessed the darkspawn first hand, he entered the nearby inn, intending to ask after his brother Erthus, who had been scouting at Ostagar, perhaps he was amongst the refugees? It seemed a futile task yet Montolio was unwilling to believe his brother dead. Before he could even speak a single word however, the group was attacked by some of Loghain’s men. Grey Wardens now had a bounty on their head, and Loghain had spread the word that it was they who had betrayed the King. Enraged, Montolio and co swiftly bested the soldiers, with help from a bard turned Sister, Leliana. After telling the beaten soldiers to deliver a message to Loghain, Montolio accepted Leliana’s company, the bard insisting that she go along with the group, having seen in a vision supposedly from the Maker that involved Montolio. Not one to believe in gods, Montolio was however, willing to accept help. More exploration of the village had the group saving a Dwarf merchant and his… interesting son by the name of Sandal. They also came across a strange giant of a man by the name of Sten, locked in a cage. A Qunari this one, and by Montolio’s eye, a fine fighter. Reluctant to let such a great warrior rot in a cell to be consumed by the Blight, Montolio persuaded the Revered Mother of the Chantry to allow him to take Sten with him. A duty bound man of few words, Montolio enjoyed Sten’s presence and knew that if he ever strayed from his path, Sten would keep him on it, by force if needed.

Leaving Lothering, which was soon overrun by the Blight, Montolio and his new companions west and south to the town of Honnleath. There they freed and recruited a rather amusing golem by the name of Shale. On the way out of the town, the group were ambushed by assassins known as the Crow. Despite their supposed expertise, they proved no challenge to Montolio and his companions, the leader of the Crows, an Elf by the name of Zevran explained how he had merely been hired to kill Montolio by Loghain, surprising Alistair, Montolio bade Zevran to follow them and help them in the quest to defeat the Blight, sparing his life. Moving now North, Montolio ignored Alistair’s advice to seek the aid of Arl Eamon, instead heading to the Dwarves. Having always been fascinated by Dwarven culture and architecture, Montolio masked this with the excuse of Dwarves being fine allies. Sadly upon arrival at Orzammar, it became evident that help would not come easy. The city was in chaos, the king having passed on, there was a fight for the throne taking place between Prince Bhelen and Lord Harrowmont. Taking in the atmosphere of the city and listening to gossip and words spoken of both Dwarves, Montolio made his decision. After purchasing a strange “Nug” creature for Leliana, Mont made his way to the house of Lord Harrowmont. Much to his irritation, the Dwarf refused to speak with Montolio until it was made clear he wasn’t some spy working for Bhelen. As such, Montolio fought in the Proving, alone. After besting all his enemies alone he was finally allowed a presence with the Dwarf Noble. Ignoring the talk of politics, Montolio asked simply what the Dwarf wanted before he would agree to send an army to the surface to assist in the battle against the Blight. Two things, it turned out, the removal of a notable Dwarven criminal and the support of a Dwarven Paragon lost in the Deep Roads, Branka. Montolio agreed and left at once for the Deep Roads, allowing Sten and Apachai to take care of the Dwarven criminal. Upon entering the Deep Roads, they were met by a Dwarf by the name of Ohgren, husband of Branka. He wished to find his wife, thus Montolio accepted his help. As they say, in the ruins of the Dwarves, A Dwarf’s head will make the most sense of it.

T’was a long journey through the Deep Roads below Ferelden, yet at long last they came upon the resting place of the Anvil of the Void, this it was where Branka was to be found. Before they found the Dwarf however, they came across one of Branka’s house, a demented Dwarf who eventually led Mont and co to a hideous creature, the Broodmother. Overwhelming the group, it was not until Montolio jumped the creature from behind, impaling it through the head that they were able to move on. Not long after, they encountered Branka, clearly changed and obsessed with finding this Anvil that can supposedly create Golems, a lost art. Braving the traps before them, they eventually came upon Caridin. Another Dwarf Paragon, now a Golem himself. He spoke the truth of the Anvil to Montolio, despite the fact that he needed Branka’s help in crowning the King so that he would have the Dwarven army he needed, Montolio disagreed with the Dwarf. Knowing it was not his place to make such great decisions, he never the less decided to destroy the Anvil, Branka didn’t approve of this and attacked the Warden, Ohgren, despite disapproving, knew that his wife had clearly lost her sanity and struck her down himself. Caridin then thanked the group by crafting one last item on the anvil, a crown for the King. After speaking to Shale, Caridin hurled himself into the abyss, finally ending his life after so long. Returning to Orzammar, Montolio then surprised everyone in the chamber by choosing Bhelen as King, and not Harrowmont. He was irritated when Bhelen’s first act as King was to execute Harrowmont, however he had the army promised to him, as such he then left to the surface once more, taking Ohgren with him.

Moving on, Montolio and co proceeded to the Circle of Magi. It became evident something was wrong. As they moved through the tower, abominations were everywhere. Teaming up with Wynne, who had also survived Ostagar, they moved through the tower, overcoming the Sloth demon and killing the Blood mage responsible for the trouble, Montolio then reasoned with the Templars that the Circle was safe and there would be no need for a purge. Having secured the Mages support for the war, the next problem was the Dalish. On the way to the Brecillian forest, Montolio gave Morrigan a grimoire he had found in the Circle tower, she explained it to him and asked him if he would kill Flemeth. Apparently Flemeth was planning to take over Morrigan’s body, this being how she had survived so long. Caring little for the situation, but realising that Morrigan was a useful companion, if an annoying one, Montolio agreed. With Wynne, Alistair and Leliana he travelled to Flemeth’s hut, upon his intentions being made clear, Flemeth offered to simply give him the true grimoire Morrigan sought, yet unwilling to risk Flemeth causing trouble in the near future, Montolio refused her offer. Flemeth then slightly surprised the group by turning into a full-sized dragon. After a long battle, Alistair was on the verge of death when Flemeth swooped down (to his dismay) and attempted to munch him, Montolio took this chance to clamber onto the dragon’s head and brain it with his great sword. Flemeth lying dead for now, Montolio handed Morrigan the true grimoire as they entered the Brecillian forest. As it turned out, things wouldn’t be simple here either. Werewolves were attacking the Dalish elves, cursing their clan. Once again Montolio found himself doing the bidding of others, he however appreciated the use that Elven bows would play so agreed to assist them. Travelling deep into the woods, he eventually encountered the Lady of the Forest, who spoke the truth in regards to the curse. Using his wit to convince Zathrian to do the right thing, Montolio watched as both he and the Lady gave their lives to lift the curse. Now having the support of the Dwarves, Mages and Elves, Montolio’s last target was the Arl of Redcliff, Eamon. Sadly upon arriving in the town, it became clear there was a slight problem. That night waves of undead struck at the town, Sten, having recovered his sword from a Dwarf in the village, guarded the village docks with Wynne whilst Alistair, Montolio and Leliana provided support to the Knights further up the village. After the night was won, they moved into the castle where the situation had become dire. Eamon’s son possessed by a demon. Sparing the life of a Blood mage, Jowan, Montolio asked the man to redeem himself. Jowan offered a way to fix the situation, he would open a way into the Fade, where a Mage would travel to kill the demon, saving the boy. However to open the way, a sacrifice must be made. Unwilling to sacrifice the boy or his mother to remove the demon, Montolio opted instead to ask for help from the Circle, they owed him after all. Trusting there would be enough time, the Mages travelled to Redcliff and indeed opened a way to the Fade. Not trusting Morrigan enough to send her to deal with the demon and worrying after Wynne’s health and fearing Jowan would succumb to the demons temptations, Montolio instead asked the First Enchanter, Irving himself to enter. Reluctantly the old Mage entered the Fade, and did indeed slay the demon. There now however remained the issue of Eamon’s health, cursed as he was by Jowan. Only the urn of Andraste could save him.

Travelling high into the mountains, Montolio came upon the bizarre village of Haven. It was clear things were not right here, after discovering a small altar fresh with blood, Montolio and co were attacked by the villagers, leaving not a one of the blood cult alive, Montolio moved into the nearby ruins with a Brother they rescued. Travelling through the ruins under the mountain, they eventually came across the deranged leader of the cult. Montolio was not willing to fight in the small cramped chamber and agreed to the leaders demands; poison the ashes of Andraste with the blood of a dragon. Moving into the mountain air they saw what Kolgrim considered his “god”. A High Dragon. Passing the great creature by for now, they moved into the ruined temple, passing the challenges set before them by the guardian and finally obtaining a pinch of ash from the urn. After a moment for Wynne and Leliana to marvel at the remains of their supposed god queen person..thingy, they travelled back outside, Kolgrim was miffed to say the least that they had not poisoned the urn and attacked, out here however, Montolio was fine to fight and wiped out the remaining members of the cult. Following this he summoned the High Dragon from its perch and after an intense battle, delivered the killing blow. Passing the Brother they had accompanied to the ruins, Montolio agreed to let the man turn it into an eventual tourist location, having little cares for religious things.

Back in Redcliff, the now healed Eamon explained how he would call a Landsmeet, where Loghain would account for his crimes. In Denerim, the group were attacked in a back alley by one of Zevran’s former allies, Zevran however chose to help Montolio and stayed with the group. For the Landsmeet, Eamon explained they would need several things. Firstly the support of the nobles, the support of the Queen, Anora. (Who also happened to be Loghain’s daughter) and finally Alistair to become King. This rightfully surprised the group, as it turned out, Alistair was in fact related to the late king and the heir to the throne. Alistair confided to Mont how he had no wish to lead men and no desire to be King. Having seen the man deal with his estranged sister, Montolio realised it would be unfair to force the man into becoming that wish he had no wish to do. Eamon did not relent however, and the group moved to the estate of Arl Howe where Anora was held captive. In the manor, they met a fellow Warden from Orlais named Riordan and Montolio at last found the man who had betrayed his family’s trust and killed his parents. Arl Howe. After avenging his parents and saving Anora however, the group was surrounded by Loghain’s trusted right hand woman. To Montolio’s dismay, the Queen then feigned capture, double-crossing Montolio. Refusing to surrender, Montolio fought until he was captured by the mass of enemies, Wynne and Zevran managed to escape with Anora, whilst Alistair and Montolio were captured.

Not wanting to wait for rescue, Montolio feigned illness in the cell of Fort Drakon and when the guard entered, Montolio swiftly overpowered him. Recovering their items, Alistair and Montolio disguised themselves as guards in order to escape and return to Eamon’s manor. Here Anora explained why she had turned him over and although he didn’t like it, Montolio accepted that it had apparently been in his best interests. Speaking with the Queen in private, Montolio discovered she too had little desire to see Alistair on the throne, using this opportunity, Montolio did something extremely out of character and asked for the Queen’s hand himself. Being of noble birth, the last of the Couslands, the Grey Warden who had defended the land against the Blight and a mighty warrior, he would make a fine prince consort. Anora accepted, somewhat to Montolio’s disappointment. Whilst he had no desire to be in such a position, it was either him or Alistair he had thought to himself. It was in the best interests of his country and perhaps his duty as a noble. Speaking with Wynne of his troubles, Montolio found himself reassured, Leliana however sought to end things between them after Montolio explained how this was how things had to be. At the Landsmeet, the support of the other nobles and the Queen forced it so that Loghain would duel the Warden’s group. Montolio chose Alistair as his champion and finally the Warden avenged Duncan, decapitating Loghain after a drawn out duel.

With Ferelden finally united against the Blight, the group headed to Redcliff where the Blight was supposedly heading. Upon arrival, it turned out that they were in fact heading to Denerim. Too far behind to catch them now, they realised the Blight would reach Denerim ahead of them. Eamon swore to march double time and that night, the Warden from Orlais spoke the truth of how the Archdemon must be slain to Montolio and Alistair. In slaying the Archdemon, the Warden who strikes the final blow would also die. Riordan said he would strike the final blow, being the senior Warden of the group. Back in his room, Mont found Morrigan, who explained the true reason Flemeth had sent her with him. She proposed a way out for Montolio, a way for the man to strike the final blow and survive. Laying with Morrigan so that the Witch would conceive child, when the Archdemon was struck the killing blow, its essence would seek the child, instead of a Warden. This would give Morrigan a child with the powers of an untainted old God. After much contemplation and initially refusing, Montolio realised that even after the Archdemon was slain, his duties would be far from over as he now had his duties as prince consort. Asking Morrigan what she planned to do with this child, she refused to tell him, demanding that he never look for her. Montolio agreed, thinking to himself that even if Morrigan tried something dastardly, he could always deal with her later. During his adventures he had become extremely good at dealing with people.

Reaching Denerim once again two days later, the final battle began, Montolio took Alistair, Leliana and Wynne with him to confront the Archdemon, leaving Sten in charge of the others to defend the city. Saying his perhaps goodbyes to the group and reassuring Morrigan that he would find her one day, they fought their way through the city, slaying vast numbers of darkspawn. Sten and the others meanwhile, successfully defeated the bulk of the darkspawn hordes that poured into the city. Riordan meanwhile, found his chance to strike at the Archdemon after Montolio slew both darkspawn Generals, leaping from a tower to the back of the Archdemon, he succeeded in wounding it gravely, robbing it of its ability to remain airborne, the Archdemon crashed atop Fort Drakon and Riordan was thrown to his death. Cutting his way through the sea of darkspawn, Montolio finally reached the roof of the great tower, coming face to face with the Archdemon. After a vicious battle, he struck the killing blow, running his sword of starmetal through the beasts brain.

True to Morrigan’s word, Montolio survived and Morrigan vanished. It was said someone of her description was seen months later, passing over the mountains perhaps even with child. Despite his duties as prince consort, Montolio decided to travel the world for a little while to heal from the battles before attending his duty. Alistair stayed in Denerim alongside Wynne, who became the Queen’s counsellor. Ohgren too stayed in the city, having grown to like the surface world and its ale. Leliana asked Montolio of what he planned to do now and if his tale would have a happy ending, after reminding her that the hero always gets the girl, he informed her of his plans to travel. Leliana herself was planning to travel to Orlais by herself to seek Marjolaine, the friend she had let live despite her constant betrayals. Montolio asked Zevran if he would accompany him on his travels, and the Elf agreed, noting how his luck seemed better in the Warden’s presence. Finally Sten told the Warden how he planned to return across the sea to his homeland and to his surprise, Montolio informed him that he would be going with him. After confirming that the Warden was sure, as it was a long and tiring journey, the Qunari told him that he had a ship at the docks that would leave the following day. Before heading out to the crowd, Montolio was surprised to see Erthus, his brother having survived Ostagar barely, having been taken in by the Chasind and only recently recovered. Montolio apologised for the loss of his brother’s family and assured him he had gotten revenge by slaying Howe. Erthus then spoke of his plans to return to their estate and clear it up. Then, Montolio  passed through the doors to meet the crowd that thought of him as a hero. A prince, a hero, a Grey Warden and mighty warrior. Ironically, none were titles he wanted.

Phew that took a fucking long time to write. Even though I skipped out so much stuff too. Well yeah that’s how it ended, I think they were very Montolio like choices in the end. Sure, Montolio doesn’t want to become King but if say for example, Varian died and for some reason they looked to him to rule the Alliance, he would, no matter how much he didn’t want to. Of course the situation in FFID is so much different as there’s plenty of other people who would be more suitable to take lead and more willing. It’s just that in Dragon Age, there was literally nobody apart from Alistair. Montolio is the type of person who doesn’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to, not his friends anyway. He’s also the type to humour any belief, even if he himself doesn’t believe in it, he most of all wants people to think for themselves to do what is right. I don’t know how well he would have kept to his Neutral Good allegiance butttttt I don’t really care. I enjoyed DA’s first playthrough even if the Orzammar quest chain seemed to go on FOREVER.

Well, it’s 2010 now and the millions of things coming out is nearly upon us. Of course I don’t have nearly as many games to play as BIG MIKE does. He literally has 900 and 500 other things to watch on top of that.

Yeah I’ll probably do another one of these for my second character, Lant the Mage. Of course it won’t take as long to write as I can just change bits around. Anyhoo, smell u l8r apagator.

First post of 2010 and I’m not mentioned? QUE?

Patience.

How am I meant to say it? Two thousand and ten? Twenty ten? Two thousand ten? Hm.

Every year should have a solemn and serious post and being me I’m too lazy to check if I already made one so I’ll do one now. Feel free to skip this post, I won’t be saying anything important (do I ever say anything important?) and will just whine about inconsequential things.

I can’t really say why but every year on christmas day at around…5am or so, I think about the past. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but I don’t usually think about the past so to speak, not in a melancholic way. I dunno, I just think about old friends mostly, people who aren’t my friends anymore for whatever reason. I would like to think that most of the time it wasn’t by any fault of mine. It’s because I’m the sort of person who doesn’t make mistakes, I try my utmost not to make them but in the end I do at times even if it’s not my fault for making them. Other people are not me. I can’t tell what other people like. It’s not like I just look at a person or a list which tells me everything about them, you know? Not just that, you can know somebody for months or years or however long and think of them as your friend then one day they just aren’t. It’s not like you knew you were doing something that they disliked. This is why I do tell people, rather bluntly if I must, what I don’t like. I for one strive to not be a deceptive person who just turns around one day and thinks something seemingly contrary to what I have said before.

As I said, this only happens once a year, I’m not really sure it happens very early christmas day. I do have something of all my past friends in my collection, be it a gift from them to me or just something that reminds me of them, and I look at them, I reminisce so to speak. Old people and women seem to do this often. I however do not as I don’t really think about the past much. What’s the point? I can’t change what I did, or what they did. Whilst I am a very forgiving person, sadly many of my old friends so to speak are not. Oh I certainly did try to make amends in a way, I can apologise, even if I do not like to admit I was wrong (circumstantially) but it’s not like it did any good. Especially if they won’t even tell me what I supposedly did wrong. It’s not like I regret it though, I will never regret speaking my own opinion and to bend and warp my own thoughts just to appease someone else is something I would expect no man to do. This is why I would make an awful politician.

I can understand, of course, why this sort of personality might not be the type many people like. Life isn’t a popularity contest, not for me at least. I am very verbal in my opinions as anyone who has read even a single paragraph here would no doubt have noticed. There’s a subtle difference however between me and others. I do not try to convert people to my opinions and I respect any man who has his own opinions or thoughts. What’s this? You don’t seem to respect people of religion X though! No, I do not. They are not their own opinions, these are opinions fed to them by others which they parrot like mindless idiots. If a man can present to me his own argument as to why he believes in his god and not some half-assed bullshit he’s harping on about having heard it, who knows where. There are men like this, so far I have met three.

Finally whilst it may appear so, I do not think I’m unique or special in any way. I am simply putting to use that which  every man has, yet is ignored by so many; my brain.

That being said, I am a plant warrior who will convert all unworthy humans into energy, I just rarely admit that for fear of the nemesis shears learning of my location.

Anyhoo I’ll see you all again in 2010 for yet more delux rages. Look to it, I know I will.

Christmas is here tomorrow so I figured I’ll do this now.

Here’s the closest thing you’re getting from me as a present.

Don’t worry MAI HUNNI you’re not missing much I’m just meg@ grinding in Warriors Orochi 2 trying to get all the achievements, honestly KOEI are bastards doing that. Let me  break it down for you non-warriors fans real quick.

In summary to get all the achievements, you need to unlock Orochi X (aka all characters, he is the final one) and to unlock Orochi X (also known as Shin-Orochi/True Orochi) you need to complete all dream scenarios. To unlock dream scenario #27 (I think) you need the sum total of all your characters proficiency to equal at least like… 2700. There are around 90 characters in WO2 and the max prof is 50. In short, to quote this gamefaqs person:

Total needed proficiency = 2730
1 proficiency = 500 points
Total needed points = 2730 X 500 = 1,365,000 points
Killing an officer will give you = 100 points
Killing a peon will give you = 1 points
In order to get 2730 proficiency you will need to either:
Kill officers = 1,365,000 / 100 = 1365 officers#

Basically it takes a very fucking long time. I’m far too lazy to even bother counting what my sum total is right now. Once I actually finish doing shit like completing stages to get “clear all stages on all difficulties” I imagine it’ll go faster as I can just find a level with lots of officers and spam it forever.

See, I realised about a month after I bought WO2 on release date how fucking long it would take so I just gave up for like a year. However now I want to finish it before Strikeforce is out.

Anyway, happy/merry christmas or whatever.

It’s easier to click wordpress then open wordpad.

Mass Effect 2 £39 29/01/2010

Bayonetta £34 8/01/2010

Strikeforce £27 19/02/2010

You didn’t get the 2 most important things!

Ironically, I’ve already bought those three as I bought them whilst making this post, but I really wanted to make that picture thing anyway so… that can be our secret, don’t tell anyone.

‘Cos if you do I’ll dip you into a vat of molten swe.

Oh what’s this? #2? Yes. That’s right. This was #1.

Dreams are always amusing things, for me at least. I can’t speak for other people as I’m not other people. However my dreams tend to be awesome for the most part so I thought I’d start writing down ones I can remember so I can read about it in the future and laugh.

That being said I don’t really think there’s any deeper meaning behind these dreams whatever anyone would say.

Well for starters I’ll describe one I had a few days/week ago. To save typing it out I’ll just paste from irc.

<Lant>   oh fuck that reminds me about my -absurdly- awesome dream I had last night
which i’ll explain once I’ve gotten a drink as i’m dying of thirst
<Lant>    okay so it started pretty shit
I dunno if you ever played MGS2 but it was like the underwater part
<Lant>    I was in some random ship or underwater building, I dunno
<Lant>    and there was water everywhere, there had been some few people
<Lant>    but then I was the only one left
<Lant>    eventually some random person found me
<Lant>    I don’t really recall what happened next, if anything did, but next thing I was flying away from the building/ship thing on a sort of like
reffer board used in E7
<Lant>    then as we flew along happily we got to some coastal area sorta like..
<Lant>    I dunno, hard to explain
san francisco’ish
but still englishy
and for some reason the boards vanished and i was just flying like.. by myself
and I was wooshing along and running on the ground and BOOYA’ing into the air again etc
and i flew over some cricket match
then i woke up
<Lant>    and was annoyed
as i wanted to keep wooshing around

That was the second dream I’ve ever had where I was flying, the first being when I was like 7/8 and had some bizarre harry potter dream where I was zooming about on a broomstick. It’s a pretty awesome experience to dream-fly, I wish I had those kinda dreams more often.

Anyway as for the dream I had last night, I’m not sure if it was two separate dreams or what but I’ll recall it as best I can.

So it started with me outside some sort of german castle/prison type thing at night and I was infiltrating it to rescue Apachai (not the character, the literal bot Apachai) seemingly I was going in through an underground watery part, next thing I know I was behind some sort of grate thingy and there were two switches on the ground. You had to step on both of them to open the grates, but obviously I couldn’t step on both at the same time. From here on is where it starts getting somewhat bizarre. I was then knocked out from behind by Soi Fong + Yoroichi (from Bleach) who proceeded to explain to me in a Call of Duty 4 esque loading/briefing segment what we were going to do aka how to rescue Apachai. I have no idea why they knocked me unconscious but apparently that’s how loading in dreams works. When I woke up I was wearing some stupid outfit which I can’t describe mostly as I don’t know any words fit to describe it. Then it sort of blanks out and the next part was me outside some sort of big rock/cavern thing (kinda like the end bit from Indiana M8s and the Last Crusade) and I was fighting some nameless grunt type people. I was losing until I did a Killer Bee/Kisame and fused with my sword (I don’t know why I had a sword) at which point I one shot this guy with a special attack by blasting him through the rocks, I can’t exactly remember but I think I screamed BINGO or something equally strange for my special attack, which was basically an exploding palm thrust.

Uh anyway so then we were inside the cavern and were running away from “something” which I think was a mob of nameless peons or something and at this point like 10 Gintama characters popped up and Sa-chan saved somebody by pushing them out the way and getting shot by arrows in the process. Finally, and this is where I think I woke up and then fell back to sleep, I was walking around my old school going to maths and when I sat down the teacher was literally making us do “1+1″ and shit so I started complaining that he should teach us vectors (which I ironically know literally nothing about) and he said it was too advanced. To which I responded that it’s good to teach us hard stuff as he was currently just wasting our time. Other people in the class complained at me and I kicked one of them in the face and woke up.

My dreams are fucking strange, I think this one won the award for strangest one ever solely because of the sheer amount of anime characters that were in it. I mean usually my dreams seem to be at least partially affected by whatever I was doing before I went to sleep but uh, last night I was playing Mass Effect before I went to sleep so I don’t even have a fucking clue. UPDATE’D Actually I just thought, right before I went to sleep I watched this, I dunno if that had any connection with the Sa-chan thing. (That’s Sa-chan’s voice actor) If I randomly remember more of it I’ll add to it. I’ll also describe my future bizarre dreams.

…You must have a fucked up mind.

Of course the lucozade addiction, constant raging and wrinkleman comics didn’t make that obvious enough.

I’ve also started on One Piece now, like I said I would. It’s alright so far, I’ve not dropped it after like 1 chapter/episode like I did with KekkaishishishishiahisehiasekAEIOASekaKUKUAPA.

I’m not racist or sexist or whatever they want to say.

Claiming I’m racist or sexist because I have an opinion is amusing.

I… strongly disagree with the concept of allowing Muslims and such to immigrate into our Western countries. Why? Because they are not immigrating, they are infiltrating. I’ll explain this slowly and carefully, using very small words so that even a brain-dead owl can understand.

Let’s say I wanted to go live in a Muslim country, you’ll forgive me for not naming any specific country as my interest and knowledge of such things is below my interest and knowledge regarding slugs. Anyway, let’s say I’m moving to this country, it would be prudent for me to study the culture, laws and customs of this place so that I can fit myself in neatly. Certainly I do not mean converting myself, but rather understanding. They however do not agree with this idea. No, they come to Western countries and they demand that we adapt to them. If you’re too dense to comprehend what that is, I’ll tell you. Annexation. It’s a war fought without a single shot fired. They come to our country and try to take over our customs and holidays and everything to fit their ideals.

Frankly I simply can not understand it.

Do you live in a house of mud? Do you fight with the weapons from 1000 years ago? Do you use the vehicles of 1000 years ago? No? But you think it’s perfectly logical to live your life with out-dated ideals? You think that’s normal? You think you’re not just a mindless sheep for doing so? This is why you are wrong and why you will always be inferior. It is people who cling to the past like this who keep humanity from evolving. People who refuse to catch up with the times. I am fairly confident that if religions did not exist and if all humans shared the mindset I had, we would have already become a global nation and perhaps would have discovered so much more about both the planet we live on and that which lies beyond it in space.

Is a global nation not the goal of humanity? Evidently not.

I do not support erosion of culture. Does that seem contrary to my supporting a global nation? Hardly. Customs may change from town to town, having a single global country that encompasses the whole world wouldn’t change that. Sadly it is religion that’s in the way of that. Oh, but religion IS culture! Perhaps. Then in the end it would seem impossible eh? On the one hand I do not approve of cultures being eroded but for a global nation to be true, that would need to happen because religions are so deeply embedded in our society.

I do not care if you want to wear a towel on your head, I don’t care if you think Jesus is someone different to who Christians think he is. You’re entitled to think all these things, nobody is stopping you from being idiots. Just… do it in your own country. It is clear that Muslims can not adapt to Western culture, clear that Muslims are simply incompatible, so why do they force their beliefs down my throat constantly? Simply put – you come here, you abide by our laws just the way you would expect us to if we were in your country.

Now for some choice rage material:

“…is clearly a sign of separation, clearly a sign of wanting to avoid assimilating in the western culture, whether it’s here or Britain or Italy. And it is clearly a sign of a subculture that wants to establish its own rules separate and apart. Speaking as an American: no Sharia law, no veils. If you’re here, be American,”
A remark which prompted the Council on American-Islamic Relations to encourage people to complain about Gibson’s remarks.

Really? Encourage people to complain? How does that help your cause you imbeciles. He’s right, if you’re going to America, you be American, if you’re coming to Britain, you be British.

Rabbi Alex Chapper of the Ilford Federation Synagogue wrote that “I feel his comments were totally unacceptable and display, at best, insensitivity to, and at worst, an ignorance of the laws, customs and practices of Islam.

Commenting on a British man and saying he’s ignorant, insensitive? Even if true, he has every right to be. You know why? Because this is ENGLAND. We have no need to educate ourselves on ancient beliefs from countries across the world. Muslims are the ones who should be learning, about our culture, so they can fit in. You want to leave your shithole country and live in a better place? Be my guest, but you don’t get to have the luxury of bringing your beliefs (which are the REASON YOUR COUNTRY WAS A SHITHOLE IN THE FIRST PLACE, PERHAPS?) here as well as your sorry carcass.

So no, I’m not racist, my father was born in India, I have a french surname and some of my best friends have been muslim, korean and greek. I’m not sexist either as some seem to think. As I’ve said before, you don’t think you’re insulting an ant if you say “I am better than you” do you? Exactly. I’m not insulting women by saying I believe men are superior. I know I’m right after all. It’s not like I’m against equality though, by all means if you can show me that you are equal, please do, for both our sakes. You must also understand that I’m generalizing when I say these things, obviously there are muslims who aren’t idiots who shove their shit down my throat and there are women smarter than myself. It’s just a sad fact that these are both minorities.

I’m not racist. I’m the sort of person who is filled with hatred and anger.

Well, my rage’ll see you in 2010.

I’ll end this on a high note. 1000 words? Naturally, don’t underestimate me.

So I just finished watching the last(?) Kara no Kyokai movie. There’s… not really much I can say about it to be honest. I liked it certainly so what I’ll do instead is just post all the images I happened to take whilst watching it, with a little flavour text.

Yeah, I know the aspect ratio is fucked up and well I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but spoilers below obviously.

As you can see, I opted for a new style of spamming one hundred images as an experiment.

What do I rate this movie? Hmm. 9/10 perhaps, yes, that means I thought it was amazing.

T-T-T-T-T-TTHAT’S ALL, FUCKS.

NICE CATCH APACHAI…

…BUT TOO BAD YA ASS GOT BATHPLUG HURL’D.

Followers of my doings may be aware that I recently re-watched Bleach. When I say “re-watched” I mean I watched up to the end of the Soul Society arc, which is around episode 63.

I figure I’ll share some of the things I have noticed.

For starters, if you’re a reader of Bleach you’ve probably heard about the aztec stuff by now, Ichigo being the black sun and all that stuff so I won’t bother mentioning that.

It does seem more apparent this time round how Ichigo is the sort of character who wants to fight. Why did he go to Soul Society and to Hueco Mondo? Supposedly to save Rukia and Inoue respectively yet if that was the case, why didn’t he just use stealth as an option and why didn’t he leave the moment he saved them? Sure in SS he says “If I left, they would just come after her again” and so on. In the end though it seems Ichigo is going to these places to fight. From what I can see, it looks as if Ichigo has, in his mind, given a face to his more “base” instincts. Namely, the hollow side of his personality. Hollows are beings that act primarily as their instincts dictate and Ichigo’s instincts seem to be fighting. For whatever reason, he personifies this part of his personality as his hollow, perhaps because he doesn’t want to admit that it is actually him and not some demonic thing possessing him making him do stuff against his will. Grimmjaw and Kenpachi both explain this to him. “You’re so strong, why don’t you like fighting?” and so on.

Second there’s Ichigo’s sword. Zangetsu says himself that he will give Ichigo any power that he needs to win. I think he meant this literally. Ichigo’s primary threat in SS was Byakuya, how does Byakuya beat Ichigo the first time they fight? With speed. In their final fight, Ichigo’s bankai gives him speed even greater than Byakuyas. Coincedence? Potentially. With HM it’s slightly more complex, Grimmjaw was arguably his rival however I would liken him more to Kenpachi, he’s just there to reinforce the fact that yes, Ichigo enjoys fighting. Ulqiruaisruioaouraisurora is the final boss of HM so to speak. He frequently compares Ichigo to a hollow and just as frequently says that “but no mere human can beat me” etc. How does Ichigo beat him in the end?

He becomes even more like a Hollow. As such I think Zangetsu’s power is “whatever power Ichigo needs to win.” I suppose you could also throw Kenpachi into the explanation. Kenpachi has arguably the most raw power of any character yet was out of sync with his weapon, Ichigo beats him because he was perfectly IN sync with Zangetsu.

There’s another theory I have seen being thrown about how that everytime Ichigo gets stronger, he sacrifices something. I can’t remember the exact terms right now but it made sense at the time. I think this theory has some good backing behind it, when Ichigo is fighting Zangetsu to obtain bankai, Zangetsu informs him that, “Each of these blades represents a part of your heart”, for example, one specific blade represents Ichigo’s dependance on Zangetsu’s strength in battle. Naturally it seems logical that there would be other parts that he has destroyed/sacrificed in order to become stronger.

All in all I do enjoy to speculate over Bleach, something I have rarely if ever done with Naruto. As for OP, I haven’t read or watched it yet however I may do so soon. I think the problem Naruto has that all it borrows is from Japanese over-used crap. Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi and all that crap. Kubo (author of Bleach) does seem to have a strong interest in aztec/mexican/mesoamerican stuff. I for one find that relatively interesting.

Bleach also has superior characters and art. Not to mention there’s no Sasuke (Hitsugaya is close but even he pales in comparison to Sasuke, who should probably team up with Med’an in a story called MARY SUE: THE UNLIMITED POWER)

As for me, I need to get complete the “DEFINITIVE” playthrough of ME, getting level 60 and all the right choices ready for ME2.

Oh right I’ll touch on the VGA GOTY awards quickly:

• I’m glad MW2 didn’t win GOTY.
• How can they even make TFU2, didn’t Starkiller die?
• Don’t really care about AA2 unless it has co-op.
• God of War 3 for most anticipated game of 2010? lol no.
• Megan Fox as best human female performance? hahahahahaha
• Halo Reach trailer was probably the worst trailer I’ve ever seen for a big name franchise

2009 or Part 2, whatever you want to call it, the second book of FFID:UDD has reached its final chapter.

That took me far longer than I expected to do, oh not just the chapter itself, everytime I upload a chapter I have to fix the formatting and I skim through it, re-writing some parts as I see fit, fixing grammar or even adding whole new paragraphs. This is the longest chapter I have ever written, coming in at over 9000 words.

As of now, I’m expecting the final chapter of part 3 (which we’ll be seeing around Oct 2010) to come in at anywhere from 25,000 to 50,000 words and I believe the final word will either be “time” or “Montolio.”

That’s still far away though, for now there’s a “christmas special” style thing coming which will be this years uh..thing. 2007 I made a picture, 2008 a carol, this year I’ve done a carol and a short chapter. What next year? A carol, a short chapter AND a picture? Who knows. Who knows.

Abayo, Apachikou.

I’ve not had much screen time recently… I feel my popularity is dropping.

Does the word “screen time” even apply to a blog? I would hazard a guess, not.