I’m back.

New pc.

Hell, it’s about time.

Pc is dead

I’ll be back.

…And my colleague is rapidly running out of stems!

ME3 demo is kinda cool. Vanguard in multiplayer is fun, and the booster card pack things are annoyingly addictive.

That is all.

I feel like I’m not keeping up with my posting mandate here, but that’s because there’s not much I feel like speaking about. Eh.

I don’t want to write a post today.

Hah, ain’t that a bitch! Have some Dio, muthafucka!

The point is I am now a perfectly safe giraffe

Of all the personalities behind the posts on this blog, none are ever completely serious, but neither are they completely… ah… what’s the word, assumed personalities, perhaps. To put it another way (as I have, many times before) most of these views and opinions are mine, but magnified to the point of being over-dramatic.

That said, sometimes I look at the world and think to myself: “That’s not right.” We all know this, no? I suppose most of us are happy enough just to carve out our own little corner of the world and pretend that nothing outside of this bubble exists – it’s a way for us to live our lives without dwelling on guilt. The same sort of guilt that all those adverts for charities on TV appeal to. It’s not our fault that we were born in rich countries, after all.

Then there’s the matter of what you fill your bubble with. In what many people laughingly call friends, lies the most common… ah… bubble filler. Lots of people cram their bubbles so full that they will burst, exposing them to the outside world. ‘Cos the more “friends” you have, the more likely some unpleasantness is bound to rear its ugly head. That is something that I realised  today whilst tinkering around on my oft-ignored facebook: What is the point in keeping such a large circle of friends? Is it really something to brag about? That you know 500 people and know nothing about any of them?

Yes, I suppose it is, because you’re not interested in your friends, are you? They perform a function for you, and that’s all you need them for. It’s just a number, and you have some weird sort of addiction into making that number grow – it boosts your esteem, your confidence, your ego, who knows. All that matters is that you always want more. What is it to you, who these people really are? We’re all solipsists (this statement in on itself, is paradoxically ironic), deep down. That may be a rather bleak outlook, I’ll admit… but can you really say I’m wrong? Have a look at all those people you call friends, and ask yourself how much you really know of them. Their birthday? Their favourite colour? The food  they like? I don’t mean things like that. Knowing somebody, is entirely different from knowing they like a double twister Mc-backbreaker snorted up the nose every morning with a quadruple digested latte.

It’s quite frankly insulting to even insinuate that you can know that many people, that you can devote as much of your time and attention to them… it’s not possible. Maybe it just boils down to a matter of wording – they aren’t friends — or at least, not in my definition of the word — but rather associates. They are people you know, people you hang out with, perhaps even people that you tolerate or like. They are not friends, though. You only need two real friends, most people don’t even have one. You need a friend to discuss the other friend with. It’s amazing what two people out of three can discover, that the other two would not discover.

What about love then? That counts, so if you want to include that, you’d have three friends.  That is what I think. Maybe it is better to have 500 friends about who you next to nothing – I wouldn’t know, as I have never been interested in such things. I don’t really understand why that might be considered strange, but I’m not exactly doing it just to be HUR SO DIFFERENT or anything like that. I enjoy my life as is, that’s the important thing. I enjoy my life, and you enjoy your life. One is neither better nor worse than the other. You can’t gauge and measure how good these things are, it’s silly to do so.

What about love? Well, there are other times when I look at the world and think: “Maybe that’s not so bad, after all.” When people look like they are being silly and only saying these crazy things to be dramatic and loud? Sometimes, sometimes, they are true. When all the romantic songs you hear are suddenly about one person, and you never struggle to know what to say to them – but you always struggle finding out how to say it. When you can stay up through sunrise and sunset, and still be talking with them. When their smile is more or less the most important reward you can think of.  When you just want to talk to them, and the subject doesn’t matter, the time of day doesn’t matter, all that matters is that it’s her (or him) that you are talking to. And of course, when you simply enjoy their company, and you always want more.

I think it’s safe to say that I am a happy person right now, because there is a person who makes me happy. Not least of all, because of this story about a story about a story:

—at some point there was a boy and he had long been pushing this tiny pebble up a mountain. On New Years Eve he had reached the plateau of the mountain and teetered there with his once tiny pebble turned giant dirt like boulder. Then, after the telling of a story, it was as though the boy had lost his balance and leaned forward a tad too much. His weight gave the boulder just the right nudge and all that time that had been put into pushing it up the hill seemed to be gone in the blink of an eye as it rolled thunderously down the opposite side. The boulder not only rolled down the hill but crashed through a dam wall and soon water burst forth and filled every crevice and covered every surface.

It (not that story, silly) puts things into perspective, rather. Makes you realise what you can have, what it is you want, and what it is that you need to work for – ‘cos everything worth having is worth fighting for, and takes effort to obtain. Most of all, you can never force these things, and it’s useless to think about whether or not you feel one way or the other, because when the time is ripe, you will know.

As I write this, the sky is the most perfect shade of blue; unmarred with nary a cloud. Certain intelligent men are strumming their way to the defence of He Fei in foobar, and even though it’s so damn cold, I find myself not caring, because I know that she likes the cold. It also gives me an excuse to wear my favourite scarf when I go out for lunch in ETA… well… now. And right now, the world seems a pretty good place to live in, and my bubble is pretty damn large.

It also lasts for 12 seconds, long enough to hearth away. Because I quit playing years before they nerfed that.

More plant than man… but still more man than you.

In more normal (…) news, I tried out the Syndicate demo recently, and I enjoyed it – it has the makings of a pretty damn good 4 player co-op shooter. If my xbox friends weren’t a bunch of gelded nannihumping university-dwelling WoW-playing thundergrowlaz, I’d probably pick it up. As is, I’ll be content with the other 50,000 games coming out:

• Mass Effect 3
• Warriors Orochi 3

Okay so maybe there’s only two. I was going to buy Kingdoms of Papalur: Apaning… but I think I’ll wait until it’s £10 or so. Skyrim? Eh… “biggest” game of 2011 but even trying to imagine the combat leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Going from Dark Souls to Skyrim is like going from Ninja Gaiden 2 to any other action game, pretty much. Okay, it’s a lot worse than that. It’s like going from SS2003 to FF13.

Also, Game of Thrones season 2 is soon.

Now it’s time to escape.