I had a strange dream

Well actually, it’s a pretty funny story, I was sitting here staring out the window (I seem to be turning into an old man in that I do just sit here staring at the garden for no reason whatsoever) when a random song played on my playlist, and for some bizarre reason it made me suddenly remember a dream. At least I think it was a dream. I’ve been staying up like 30+ hours at a time these last few days and as such I seem to be a tad..delusional.

Anyway so in this dream, assuming it WAS a dream and not just something I saw on TV or something, I was me and I was walking down a street which I THINK was somewhere in London, regardless, there was a big river (Thames, perhaps) which I needed to cross, but the nearest bridge was a long walk away, and I saw two boats which would ferry across, one was a really shitty little raft with like tramps on it, and the other was a huge luxury yacht thing, so I went onto that but I didn’t have any money. Yet by the time I found a seat the boat had already started moving, and the owner of the boat came over to me..and for some reason it was Montolio. I didn’t find this odd at all apparently, he was like, a real person, not 3D model or anything, he was wearing a white tuxedo and had a white fedora, when he spoke he sounded sort of like this guy. So he was asking me if I had payed and I said I didn’t have any money, he said I’d have to get off, but as the boat was already moving I asked him why I can’t just stay on for the duration and pay him later, in the end I didn’t get thrown off and the boat got to the other side. For some inexplicable reason, I then went to a shopping centre, the Montolio guy came as well and we were walking around a place sort of like Sainsburies or something, eventually I found out he was like a really famous guy who owned loads of different companies, like a magazine as well as the boat thing. We talked about business and stuff, I can’t really remember it, but I know at one point I was looking through magazines. Anyway, eventually we left the shop (I dunno why I was in a shop when I had no money) and he directed me towards the bridge, I asked if I could return on the boat but he said he wasn’t letting any passengers on this time as he had one important customer using the boat. So I walked across the bridge and eventually I met some friends on the other side, the boat, which had somehow taken longer than me to cross the river and arrive, then docked up and the Montolio guy disembarked along with a person who I couldn’t see, then they moved over and walked past me and I could see them and it was somebody important/famous, but I can’t remember who it was. I think it was a woman and she was wearing a long black dress/coat and had a strange tall black hat.

Usually my dreams are just random crap, but I get the feeling there was some deeper meaning behind this one. Granted it might have been something I saw on the TV whilst I fell asleep or something, I honestly don’t know. Try as I might, I can’t think of anything relevant or indeed useful that it could mean. It’s strange..it’s a dream I remember but don’t remember having. Perhaps it was just a result of insomnia.

I’ve not really been up to much – my job still hasn’t begun, and to be honest I’m hoping it doesn’t start until later in the year. I’d rather be bored and hot than working and hot. I have a very low tolerance of heat (ironic, considering the element I always go for in RPGS/etc is fire) and today..yesterday I should say, was the hottest day of 2009 in the UK so far. I remember a few years ago when I was still in high school and I was walking back one day and there had been no busses/I missed them/whatever and I was literally becoming delirious from the heat, I was almost unconscious on my feet you could say, as such I was pretty surprised when I eventually found myself at home all of a sudden. It doesn’t help, I suppose, that I tend to wear black a lot. No, I’m not emo or anything, I just like the colour black. Purple/indigo is actually my favourite colour but I’m not gonna wear purple. The only purple clothes I have is a purple shirt that goes with my black suit. Yeah, wearing black jeans with a black shirt is pretty dumb, so the other day when I was going out I was like “fuk dat” and went rummaging around. Despite the fact that I don’t really care what other people think of me, I get really obsessed about the clothes I wear a lot of the time, I have to like colour co-ordinate everything. Shit it goes beyond clothes, I literally colour co-ordinate everything. Maybe I have ADHD or something. Needless to say I went through about 5 pairs of jeans before I found a pair that was just the right shade of blue to match my shirt. Jesus christ.

Ah, I also skimmed through the E7 movie. I’m not really sure what to say about it so far as I did only skim through and had no idea what they were talking about. Several small things I noticed however; Eureka is completely different, Holland is different in a small but important way, Eureka gets pistol whipped in the face, people get onkon clappa’D by surfboards, and there’s several moments of NICE(-Marcus Fenix) animation. I was pleased that Holland uses the Devilfish from the get go this time, as whilst I’m not really a fan of mechs, I really like the design of the Devilfish. Oh and Holland’s apparently been watching too much Soul Eater, as he does some crazy compaq feedback/TAMASHI NO KUOMERE thing where he can see souls. BONES getting their shows mixed up? Well, at the end I found the fight between (spoilers!) the Giga Nirvash and Uber Devilfish impressive, I felt that they really portrayed the sense of speed. At one point the Devilfish is moving so fast that the missiles it fired are like, trailing behind it almost. Ah, last but not least I get the feeling people who had gripes with Renton being a “crybaby” may prefer him in the movie as he seemed a lot less..whiny. Heck, he throws a few solid punches unlike in the series where he flails his arms like a girl. Punching is the sign of a man, afterall. Oh, he also gets shot in like the gut and then gets back up not too long after, that’s determination. Apparently being shot in the gut is one of the most painful places to be shot, then again it is an anime.

So I’ll finish this post with the last shot of the movie, instead of a Dio picture.

Good Renton, you look kind of cool.

Y’know, I just noticed in that scene Eureka has human eyes. I didn’t notice if she had her normal eyes or not..but perhaps that’s a hint as to what she did at the end? We’ll see..as soon as some prostate-tycoons sub it.

Cherry Blossom x∞

As usual I can’t think of a title that’s relevant, but as I’ve been listening to that song, it seems like the logical choice as they spam it over and over and over.

Alright so the main point of this post, before I forget and begin rambling about something totally unrelated, was something I’d been meaning to talk about for a good while now but keep forgetting as my memory is notoriously awful. Anyway so I guess the most relevant ‘title’ for this subject would be hypocrisy;

You know when somebody dies in an Internet community? Be it myspace or wherever, there’s generally tons of people who most likely didn’t even really know them and indeed, had never spoken to them or met with them IRL who are “paying their respects” so to speak, there’s nothing wrong with that I suppose. Inevitable you do get the trolls popping up though, saying stuff to incite them. I always find the responses to these kinds of things rather amusing, I was looking at a video on youtube the other day, I forget what it was..probably a Michael Jackson one. Regardless, there was a commentator trolling there and out of interest I looked at his profile and it seems he does that a lot, and he had SO many comments from enraged goons saying shit like “U NEVA KNEW PERSON Y U CANT SAY DAT I HOPE UR MUM IS SHOT/U GET STABBED” and stuff like that.

Am I the only one who finds that fucking hilarious? Somebody says “it’s good that person died” or whatever and then the responses are like “I HOPE YOU DIE SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE.” Humans really can be unpleasant. It makes me wonder, do other animals have such variance in them? At its best, humanity can achieve some wonderful things, but at the same time I can’t think of any other animals on Earth that perform such stupid and terrible things. Maybe that’s just the way of life – if you want to experience something really great you have to experience something really shit. Well whatever, I’m not a nihilist or an anarchist. When I bother to think about it, it’s the freedom that allows us to be happy that also allows people to do such retarded things. If you wanna really get DEEP, you have to consider that what most people consider to be happiness is just what they have been told by society. Would I rather live in a society with Big Brother style laws with no crime, or how we are at the moment? I’d chose the former, why?

I can’t really see how it’d be that different to how we live now in all honesty. Then again I have never experienced it so I can’t speak. It’s useless to speculate over it too, nothing will ever change. Change is ALWAYS considered wrong, we are told from the earliest age that it is so, our goverment is always right. It’s like when you read a story, if somebody is opposed to the protagonist, they are wrong, regardless of motives and morals. If something is opposed to our government? It’s automatically labelled as terrorism or a “radical movement” or whatever they want to call it. As I said though, it doesn’t make a bit of difference. I’m not going to vote for them, not because I think my vote is important, but because there’s nobody worth me voting for. If a political group with views matching my own did arise, the chances of it taking power are zero.

Perhaps if my motivation were greater, I would try and fix stuff myself, but I’m way too lazy. I’ll just stick with commenting on it. I almost wrote “it’s good that I can at least do that”, but it’s not really. It’s just retarded that in some countries if you have an opinion that goes against the government you get quadruple prison banga’D. Then again, that some freedom of speech allows some really fucking retarded people to go around mouthing off. AHA BUT LANT THAT’S HYPOCRITICAL YOU’RE SAYING THEY ARE DUMB BUT YOUR OPINION IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE PUBLIC MAJORITY. Not really, I know I’m right. Why? Because I’m Me. My ego extends to the far reaches of space and I’m always right.

What’s this I don’t even.

On a less serious note, some barreldicks are having a BBQ AGAIN and the wind is blowing the filthy smoke right into my windows and it’s making me really angry, so angry I might go and batter them to near death with their own grill.

Something I touched on earlier,  “if somebody is opposed to the protagonist, they are wrong, regardless of motives and morals.” that’s something that you will see evident in FFID in several chapters time, I’ve attempted to put in some interesting grey areas and moral choices, and at a pivotal point in the book, the protagonist is indeed, judging from the other characters perspectives, wrong. I can’t really explain it well out of context but I hope it makes sense in the actual story. As it stands, much of part 2 is about “what is right and wrong”, in their world, the Light is considered ultimate good, but in order for peace, is it fair game to sacrifice the few to save the many? Do the means justify the end? Mont, whose will is bound to the Naaru, opposed to Erthus, who serves neither light nor dark. It’s an interesting conflict, as both of them believe that they are in the right.

As for the third and final part, it’s sort of a throwback to the first part, in that it revolves highly around revenge and family. I’ll admit I find it quite exciting to write bits from nearer the end and around the climax, and indeed I have written a fair amount from much much further into the story, I’ve had ideas in my mind for ages. That’s not to say there’s nothing coming soon, not by a long shot, there’s the whole Blackrock Mountain saga which is coming in the upcoming chapters, which was not only a pivotal in game event with the vast amount of my time @ level 60 being spent there, but in the story it’s a very important event. There’ll be some new faces and some returning faces. One thing I have to admit to being guilty to, is that I love making the characters in anything I write really..cool. Which is why pretty much everyone in FFID gets really great moments, sure, they have their pathetic moments too (especially Mont), but I love making them do awesome stuff. It’s not really a mary sue, as EVERYONE is awesome in FFID. These upcoming chapters are all for Erthus though, this is his time to shine, even if the actual narrative is more focused on Mont. Frahlo’s not really had much time in the spotlight, but in part 3 he’s going to have some great parts. Naturally, Mont also comes more into focus in the later chapters of part 3. The very last encounter in FFID’s “present” time, will be Mont and Frahlo alone versus a certain elemental lord.

I say “present”, because you have to remember FFID is being told from Mont’s perspective, so what is gonna happen in the “future”, in the 100 years that have past? All I’ll say is that there’s a good reason for Mont being alive and well a century into the future, I’ve also got an idea or two for how I’ll properly end it. Right now the last word seems like it’ll either be “time” or “Montolio”.

As for me, I’m just waiting for a damn release of the E7 movie, and playing Empires in the mean time. I’ve also got Ninja Gaiden 2, Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta to play through in the upcoming months..all a distraction, all of it..to tide me over until BORDALANDS. Knowing my luck? My new job will start the day Borderlands comes out. I can’t really complain, I’m getting paid to literally do nothing, not much I’ll admit, but until I’m called in for some jobs, to quote my final rival Thes, IM FREEEEEE.

Ciao.

E7 movie OST remixes

I figured I’d make a new post for these just in case I want to look for them in the future, as my blog is a tad unorganised and..messy. Of course, they’ll probably have vanished by then, who knows. I could look for a more permanent place to host music butttt..effort.

Sakura “ram rider” remix

Days “piano house” mix

I’m not really a fan of J-pop but I like these two mostly because I link them to E7, which I also like. The second also has some pretty nice music, I’m awful at describing stuff but it’s sort of like..jazzy..and neat. I’ll be posting my thoughts on the movie as soon as I see it.

Knowing me? There’ll be thousands of screenshots.

I’ve been rewatching the series to refresh my memory of E7 (and to watch the audio commentary which is pretty funny.)

DW6 Empires

…Is here.

I played it for most of yesterday and it’s okay I guess, I’m not really sure how I feel about the fact that renbu’s now a weapon upgrade style thing. It’s alright I guess? The Ruler mode is a little bit lacking but it’s fun to make an army of custom characters and watch as they walk around. I made a Lant and a Thes and then like the first rival I had was fittingly Thes who I had to fight like 50 times, and he asked me to defect and I was like “No!”, then eventually I took over his kingdom and he joined me, then he asked me to be friends. Odd requirements to be friends, “defeat me 50 times!”

I guess most people wouldn’t have a clue who Thes is..or Lant for that matter. I could go post videos or screenshots of it but I’m not gonna as that’s too much effort.

So yeah it’s alright I guess, if I can get 20 hours play out of it, I’ll be satisfied. Ah right I guess I’ll explain that whilst I’m here, if I can get a £1=1 hour ratio out of my games, I’m content. So generally I want to get around 40 hours. Looking at my games list, I think I’ve more or less done that for everything  I have. I’d say Gears 2 has had the best price/timed play ratio as I’ve played that on 100 different days according to my 360′s blog.

Oh and the E7 movie ost is out, I’ve been listening to the remixes, it’s pretty neat. I’m hoping the actual movie is subbed soon, but who am I kidding I’m gonna watch the raw as soon as I find it. I have my surround sound speakers finally working 100% (thanks to Jibun Woo), my colour settings perfected on my monitor, and plenty of delicious snacks ready. I just hope the movie doesn’t disappoint.

Yup.

Stick this under your face for later

Yeah I couldn’t think of any other title for this.

Here’s some neat (and new) E7 art that’s been unearthed some hours ago, probably in connection to the movie (Which comes out on the same day as Empires, yay, E7!)

It kind of reminds me of this:

Same artist, perhaps? Well regardless I like the art in both of them, the top one reminds me slightly of some art from Cowboy Bebop, let me go find it..

I can’t find it.

DW Week 09

It’s finally time.

Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires is almost here!

FMC’S EMPIRE RULES CHINA. ACTUALLY HE GOT TAKEN OVER BY LANT.

Violence Fetish + Fans

From the Disturbed song that I happen to be listening to atm, that’s where the title came from, if you wanted to know. (Not the fans part.)

It’s pretty relevant though I guess, in a way I do have a violence fetish. Well it’s pretty funny actually (not really) maybe because I grew up watching pretty violent films, I dunno. It’s a pretty tough thing to describe, but I sort of categorise violence into two different types; there’s over the top violence and realistic violence. It can be a pretty hard thing to distinguish between them as I don’t really have set conditions for one or the other, but I’ll give a few examples. Ninja Gaiden 2 and Gears of War I’d count as OTT violence, whereas God of War and Dead Space would be “realistic” violence. I know that’s pretty dumb as in God of War you can’t remove limbs from your opponents unless it’s in a QTE so in some aspects NG2 is more realistic. What I mean is like..chopping limbs off, shooting heads off and so on, it’s really violent, sure. God of War’s violence is just..disturbing. Example? Kratos kills some big centaur thing by gutting it, literally, he takes his sword and slashes it stomach open, and you can see all its guts spill out, that’s the sort of violence I dislike. Blood and limbs spraying everywhere is fine, but when you start detailing organs and shit falling out..yeah. It’s not really something I can explain, nor do I really imagine people would understand it, but whatever.

Pretty ironic that I love Gears/NG style violence when, in real life, I get really fucking freaked out by blood. Sure it’s easy to say words like hematophobia and arachnephobia but in the end they are just labels, I don’t think it really needs a term. Some people shit themselves over heights, I shit myself over seeing my own blood or spiders. Sure you can say “haha u pansy” or whatever, but I don’t really see anything wrong about it, bleeding generally means you’ve been hurt, which isn’t a good thing. Humans aren’t meant to fly so it’s natural to be afraid of heights (although I personally am not) and it’s natural to fear things that are different from us. AND FOR THE RECORD I WOULD COUNT SOMETHING WITH 8 LEGS THAT CAN JIZZ OUT SELLOTAPE AND WALK UP WALLS PRETTY. DIFFERENT. TO. US. I hate spiders.

Anyway yeah, I can take that analogy over into movies too, compare Blade and Rambo IV to like..uh..I..dunno, a film that realistically portrays ultra violence? Shrug. I do really enjoy Gears of War and NG’s violence, I don’t really think there’s anything disturbing about that..as it’s not real. I just find the noise a head makes when it gets popped by my sniper rifle or boltok incredibly satisfying. I also find it incredibly satisfying when I gib someone with the shotgun and they go flying away in bits, or when I kick somebodys head off with the captain falcon talons in NG2. Hate it in QTEs though. I just hate quick time events in general..it’s just playing a cutscene, it’s not immersive at all, it breaks the immersion.

Makes you wonder, do people in real life like REAL violence? Possibly. I, at least, can tell the difference between a curb stomp in Gears and say, American History X. One of them is entertainment, the other is horrible. I doubt I need to explain which is which. Speaking of curbstomps, I updated the comics section a few days ago with a crappy new comics HERE IN THIS HOPELESS FUCKING HOLE WE CALL LA, THE ONLY WAY TO FIX, IS TO FLUSH IT ALL AWAY. ANY FUCKING TIME, ANY FUCKING DAY. LEARN TO SWIM – I’LL SEE YOU DOWN IN ARIZONA BAY. Ahh good ol’ Aenema, that and Vicarious are great Tool songs. If I ever do make a Gears 2 montage, I’d use Vicarious as the first song, and then for the credits/host montage..well, that’s a story that’ll need some explanation. Basically, whenever I get host in Gears 2, I become a god of destruction ( oh sure Lant it’s because ur internet sux and other people cant touch you but no, no it isn’t. It might sound arrogant but I know I’m great at Gears 2, when I down a US host who’s lagging me 2 seconds behind him and then two of his friends consistently, and when I have stats far higher than 95% of the people I come against, yes, I can be arrogant.) and pretty much destroy everything and everyone flawlessly. I find this highly amusing as I can just picture how fucking angry the other people are, they ignore the game (it’s annex, like king of the hill for those of you who don’t know) and just chase after me, I suppose the natural thing to think of would be the benny hill music..but me? I hear this in my head:

I’M LOVING IT.

I’M I’M LOVING IT I’M I’M LOVING IT.

Fucking hilarious, to me anyway. I just find it so funny that these people have it stuck in their heads, the idea of what they’ll do to me; they’ll roll up to me and 2 piece me, but it inevitable ends with me either downing them with the HB, popping their head with a boltok/sniper/torque, or wallbounce past ‘em and then gib them with ease.

FUCK L RON HUBBARD AND FUCK ALL HIS CLONES. FUCK ALL THESE GUN TOTING HIP GANGSTER WANNABES. FUCK SMILEY GLAD HANDS, WITH HIDDEN AGENDAS. FUCK ALL THESE DYSFUNCTIONAL INSECURE ACTRESSES.

This song is really long! (Learn to swim)

Whilst I’m on the subject of funny stuff though.

When I first watched that I couldn’t stop laughing for about 2 minutes, the Pingu guy just blasts his mouth out so far and begins tooting heartily, it’s like he saw an Ian remix and Ian became his idol so he wants to imitate him so bad, then he makes a band with that grandpa pingu with the quadruple rumbling stretcha violin thing.

Which brings me to my next point, I don’t have a segway. Don’t bother looking for one.

Fans, be it fanart, fanfiction or whatever, can be very interesting. Most of the time it’s rather annoying, certainly, fanboys, slashfics and the unspeakable “fan”art. Sure I could whine about them but I figure for once I’ll focus on the more positive side of fans, some fanfiction is quite legitimately good, I dunno if it really counts as fanfiction, but machinimas can be pretty decent. Fans too, can keep something alive. They can generate some interesting discussion about their media of choice, it’s great. Sometimes it’s thanks to fans that something comes back from being “dead.” It’s great how they can know something so well that they can point out things that you never would have even recognised otherwise. As for fanart, some fanart can be really great, it’s amazing how much time people can put into it, I have a small idea as I’ve done several vectors, they take AGES and I’m effectively just improving(well, sort of) upon what’s already there, I’m not starting from scratch, I have my references and so on. I don’t have any examples at hand, but there are some really great examples of fantastic fanart out there. Haaaaaaaajfaaaaa I can’t be positive anymore. THERE’S ALSO TONS OF SHITTY FANART AND REALLY BAD ANNOYING FANS THAT PISS ME OFF SO MUCH. JUST ASDEASEIAEUISEHIASEHIAS WORRRRRRRRRAO @@@@@@@@@ MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA. YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD.

To finish on a decidedly negative note, do you know something that annoys me possibly more than anything else? Say you’re in the same room as somebody, you’re not talking to them, you’re both doing separate things but for some reason that person decides to start rambling away out loud for no other reason other than to pointlessly inform you that they are indeed lifting a box. It’s not like you have eyes and can see that they are lifting a box, or bending over, or sitting down, or whatever. That drives me fucking insane. Pretty much everyone in my family does it, when I briefly worked in the offices, there was this girl who did it. I’d be sitting there and she’d be waddling about going like “Oh dear I have so much work to do”. Yes. yes you do. Maybe you should stop ACTUALLY DO IT? It seems to be mostly women who do it, god it drives me bananas, they just feel the need to comment on every single thing, so if you say like “Sorry, I’m trying to concentrate, can you not talk to me?” they get all moody and have a spaz. It makes me clench my fist with rage, it’s not even something I can explain it just MAKES ME WANT TO THROTTLE A BITCH. STOP SAYING “OH DEAR” EVERY TIME YOU MOVE 2 STEPS, JUST STOP BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE OVARIES SO HARD YOU FLY OUT THE WINDOW AND THEN I DROP THIS COMPUTER MONITOR ON YOUR CORPSE BEFORE DELIVERING AN ELBOW DROP OF SUCH FANTASTIC STRENGTH THAT IT SMASHES YOU INTO THE CORE OF THE EARTH WHERE YOU BURN TO A CRISP BEFORE GETTING RECYCLED INTO A PLASTIC LUCOZADE BOTTLE THAT I WILL THEN DRINK. I WILL CONSUME THE VERY ESSENCE OF YOUR SOUL.

In short that woman was probably the most annoying person I had ever met in my entire life. Generally I try not to think about it as I go into apoplectic rage. I’m not a good people person, I get irritated too easily, online? on the phone? Sure I can handle that but when people start fidgeting about doing stuff they aren’t even aware that they do..drives me crazy. I once got angry at somebody for the way they were sitting, to give you an idea.

..Anyway, I’ll wrap this up as I want to go make some frozen lucozade popsicle things. Yehhh boiii I bought so many lucozades that I have fucking surplus lucozade. Me having surplus lucozade is like fatman Batos having surplus pizza. It’s like Adam having surplus steak, it’s like Frahlo having surplus penis, it’s like Mike having surplus..Monkey Island? You get the idea. If you don’t, print out this page, roll it up and sellotape it around a bullet and shoot it into your own face, then you’ll get the gist of it.

By the way, count how many times I used the word “pretty” in this post. Great tale my brother!

Fanart, eh? Let’s see what ol’ Lantman mcZade can cook up using his magic bag of pain.

Even Dio has fanart, it might be tiny, but it’s still art..presumably done by a fan.

BONUS UPDATE: I have to add to that, I just noticed that I grind and grate my teeth FUCKTONS when I’m angry. I wonder if teeth are meant to be this flat and..sharp? I think I could probably bite through a 5″ steel blastdoor with my canines.

Grand Vidja Tournament R3V1V3 2k9

YOU ARE MY FRIEND, AHHHH, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT POST I MADE LIKE A YEAR AGO~

Yeah so I’m incredibly bored right now and can’t really do anything, so naturally, I resort to the blog. It occured to me whilst I was reading some old posts that I never did finish this thing (mostly as I think I was bored at the time – and then WO2 arrived or something) so I figure I’ll finish it. Anyway, now that I’ve made my chair more comfortable and put some good vidya music on (with headphones, no surround sound today D:) LET’S GO, to quote some guy.

Round 1 Winners:

AURON VERSUS CRACKDOWN AGENT: Auron

Captain Falcon VERSUS Tadakatsu Honda: Draw

Carmine VERSUS Captain Macmillian: Captain Macmillian

Guybrush Threepwood VERSUS Scorpion: Guybrush

WoW Paladin VERSUS Fable Hero: WoW Paladin

Ryu Hayabusa VERSUS Mario: Ryu Hayabusa

Master Chief VERSUS Lord Genome: Lord Genome

So now the new stuff: (Starkiller reaches the next round automatically)

Mitsurugi VERSUS Dante

Well, despite Mitsurugi being a skilled swordsman and being..to be blunt, pretty cheap. Dante has fire arms, and if Mitsurugi has trouble fending off some slow crappy rifles, he’s going to be dead in seconds from Dante using sustained fire from his hand guns, he wouldn’t even have to break a sweat. Then again, Dante’s not really the sort to kill humans, so I’m sure he’d just punt Mitsurugi around for a while to be “kind”.

Winner: Dante

Lu Bu VERSUS Goku

Obviously Lu Bu stands no chance!!! Right!? Wrong. Goku’s kindness would be the end of him. So whilst the DW2 style mist emerges up around him, Lu Bu would pop up and instantly destroy him after introducing himself in a strange cutscene, he wouldn’t wait for Goku to respond. Sure, a mere halberd couldn’t kill a Saiyan, and Goku would then begin turning into a Super Saiyan, but then Lu Bu would use his tenbu’d grab move from WO2 and finish him off. In the end, he’s not the protaganist here and won’t be saved due to it. No time to be a nice guy, Goku! U MAD?

Winner: Lu Bu

Fou Lu VERSUS Beitetsu (Taru Monk)

Well, this might be a little bit biased as I don’t really know exactly what a Taru monk can do, outfitted in the most ultimate of gear, but I’m fairly certain that, despite even if he used 100 fists and had amazing gear and potions, Fou Lu would probably win, for they are both technically restricted to turn based combat, but Fou Lu can shift into dragono mode if things get tight, but can he use potions? I would think not, possibly some healing spells, in the end though, the victory would go to Fou Lu after a long battle.

Winner: Fou Lu

Niko Bellic VERSUS Link

Yeah uuh, so Niko would drive his car into Link thinking to finish him quick like, but Link would just sort of pathetically roll over as he has no idea what physics are. Then he’d stand up and hookshot Niko in the head and send Niko into an endless stumbling loop animation thing.

Winner: Link.

ROUNDO 2

• Captain Falcon VERSUS Auron. Winner: Captain Falcon
  
• Captain Macmillian VERSUS Tadakatsu Honda: Honda
  
• Starkiller VERSUS Guybrush + WoW Paladin: Guybrush + WoW Paladin
  
• Ryu Hayabusa VERSUS Lord Genome: Ryu
  
• Dante VERSUS Lu Bu: Lu Bu
  
• Link VERSUS Fou Lu: Link
  

As Starkiller managed to get through the first round automatically due to his cheating, he has to fight two people at once, the random generator decided it would be that bracket, aka Guybrush + WoW Paladin.

Captain Falcon VERSUS Auron

Okay okay, interesting. So the previous powas and stuff stand, Auron’s abilities will have recharged by now and the Captain would have recovered from being mercilessly poked by the Tonbo-Giri. A pretty unlucky matchup for Auron, he’s still turn based, and the only way Tadakatsu even stood a chance against the Captain was because he had RIDIC speed..Auron’s turn based. So the Captain is more than willing to exchange blows in that manner, so Auron would use his strongest overdrive against the Captain and uh..pretty much do nothing, but I imagine Auron would try the sneaky route and try Shooting Star to eject the Captain, sorry Auron, that doesn’t work on non RPG rule following enemies. So then the Captain would’ve had all the time in the world to charge up a falcon punch. Goodbye Auron.

Winner: Captain Falcon

Captain Macmillian VERSUS Tadakatsu Honda

Hoho, another interesting one. The OTHER Captain would stand a good chance, as he’d be well hidden because of his Ghilly suit – Tadakatsu would have a hard time finding him and then I imagine Captain Mac’d use that ridic huge rifle out and blast it at Tadakatsu..to little effect. Projectiles are nothing but a nuisance in the world of DW/SW, so whilst he would take a good amount of damage, it wouldn’t be critical, and then he’d know where Captain Mac is, and well, Captain Mac can only sprint for a set amount of time, whereas Honda’s gonna be using a horse to hunt him down, and when he does..well, if Captain Mac can’t survive against wild dogs, he’s going to be mincemeat against Honda.

Winner: Honda

Starkiller VERSUS Guybrush + WoW Paladin

2 ON 1. WINNER TAKES ALL. REBER WAN – ACKSHUN. Alright so Starkiller has the power of the force, the power of RIDIC levels of hax. However, he can’t use any jedi mind tricks on either of his foes. Aside from the fact that they aren’t weak minded, I dunno if that stuff even works on aliens (which they technically are.) So Starkiller’s not a very smart guy, and he’d probably think Guybrush is the bigger threat of the two, and would begin assaulting him with all manner of force spells, which Guybrush would be totally oblivious to, standing there taking energies enough to almost defeat Vader and Palpatine, wondering when this guy’ll notice he has no health bar of any kind. In a show of amazing teamwork, Guybrush would then “Use” + “Root Beer” on Montolio, driving him into a frenzied buff state, he would then pop his bubble and proceed to chop Starkiller a new one.

Winner: Guybrush + Montolio (WoW Paladin)

Ryu Hayabusa VERSUS Lord Genome

If you’ll recall, Lord Genome, in the heat of his battle against the Master Chief, destroyed pretty much every single vehicle he had available to him. It’d be a one on one melee fight here, now, we never saw how good a fighter Lord Genome was, but he seemed to be a brawler berserker type, taking little regard to defense. In flaming-head mode anyway. Ryu however has killed all manner of beasts, and I believe he’d land a large critical attack out of hiding (he’s a ninja afterall) and after flaming-mode head is engaged, the fight would really be on. In the end, I think the win goes to Ryu as he’s a master of melee combat and can take an unusual amount of punishment for a normal human. Of course, he lacks the ability to kill Lord Genome most likely, but I think chopping him into little bits and then sealing him in a jar probably has the same effect, more or less.

Winner: Ryu

Dante VERSUS Lu Bu

Alright shit’s getting interesting now BOIIII. Lu Bu with all his powers..versus Dante with all his powers. Both of them are almost invincible. Dante’s going to be busting out insane moves, chipping away at Lu Bu’s health, but as we know, Dante’s defense isn’t that amazing, sure, he has items and so on, but Lu Bu can hit like a truck. A truck moving as fast as Captain Falcon’s blue falcon. They’ll both be taking insane levels of damage, Lu Bu’s giant health bar diminishing rather quickly, of course though, Dante’s probably playing around as he’s never that serious, he won’t be taking Lu Bu all that seriously either. That’ll probably prove to be a bad move when Lu Bu then turns around and uses his chaos mode WO grab move, pummeling the shit out of Dante, which’d force him to devil trigger to escape the grab. What happens from here, well, I imagine Lu Bu would use his strikeforce freaking.. super Lu Bu thing. They’d continue to pummel the fuck out of each other, but eventually, Lu Bu comes out on top. Why? A mix of his absurd tenbu strength and his constantly regenerating health due to DW2 cheating NPCness.

Winner: Lu Bu

Link VERSUS Fou Lu

Ah, another interesting match up. Fou Lu can turn into a freaking dragon, but Link’s certainly well used to fighting giant creatures. What with all his potions and items, I figure he’d force Fou Lu to assume a dragon form fairly soon, at which point it’d be a game of cat and mouse, with Link popping out to fire light arrows or something at Fou Lu, possibly using the longshot to grapple onto him, and proceeding to beat him down a bit. However Fou Lu does have that one ridiculous move I can’t remember the name of, which he would in the end use to kill Link…who uses the Ocarina of Time to manipulate time and avoid it. That’s a pretty unfair ability, so he can only use it once – let’s say Fou Lu broke it with the attack. Nevertheless, one time is enough, and Link would then use Farore’s wind or whatever it’s called to teleport up to Fou Lu’s head, and then spam his foward + jump attack until he wins.

Winner: Link

Yarrrrr. So I’ll do the next round at some point, but I’ll start making the matchups slightly more random just to be fair. Although I think this round was pretty fair more or less. Sure, Auron VS Fou Lu might’ve been more fair than versus Captain Falcon but oh well! Right now, it looks like the good Captain Falcon is gonna win..assuming Lu Bu or Tadakatsu don’t come back to stab him in the ass!

Now that was a good waste of time, now I’ll go make dinner. OH LOOK AT THIS IS IT FUCKING SAMURAI SCANNERS PLAYING IN FOOBAR YOU BET YOUR LEFT KNEECAP IT IS DOOO DEE DOOOOOOO DOOOOO DIDDLY DOO DE DOOO DUM DUM DUM. SHIT YEAH!! I GOT ENOUGH 4 ALL OF YOU.

Dio thinks Dio knows who will win. Dio is probably right.

QUARTER-FINALS

• Guybrush VERSUS Ryu + Link. Winner: Ryu + Link
  
• Tadakatsu Honda VERSUS WoW Paladin: Honda
  
• Lu Bu VERSUS Captain Falcon: Lu Bu
  

Guybrush VERSUS Ryu + Link

The reason why Guybrush is fighting two people, well, partly because I thought of too many people and partly because he’s cheating what with his lack of a health bar! Anyway, so Ryu and Link would be a pretty good team and I imagine Ryu would be fast enough to avoid anything Guybrush can do..like..throw root beer or swing on ropes at him or whatever. As for the problem of Guybrush’s health bar, or lack thereof, solved by Link using Farore’s wind to teleport Guybrush under the ocean, he’d then put on his zora mask and swim away leaving Guybrush to stand there. It’s not really beating him, but he’s out of the way and can’t do anything so it counts as a win.

Winner: Ryu + Link

Tadakatsu Honda VERSUS WoW Paladin

Whilst he’s made it fairly far, this is probably about as far as the WoW paladin is going to go. Even if he had 100% critical and 100% hit and 100% parry he just wouldn’t generate enough kinetic energy to damage Honda, even if he parried every single blow perfectly, the flash damage from tenbu would still hit him, along with the shock damage. In the end he’d probably pull out a Lay on Hands and stun Honda, probably surprising him and dealing an insane amount of burst damage, but musou activation breaks through stuns..and at which point, you have to say “bye!” to Mr Paladin.

Winner: Honda

Lu Bu VERSUS Captain Falcon

Ahh, the one we’ve all been waiting for, Lu Bu and the Captain. It’s a tough one, Captain Falcon would probably be moving as fast as Lu Bu and would have little trouble evading his blows, whilst Lu Bu would be constantly regenerating his health and probably trying out some neutral charges to AoE the Captain. I imagine at one point the Captain would attempt to charge up a falcon punch, at which point Lu Bu would do the trademark WO grab and pummel him mercilessly for a good while, which would result in Captain Falcon retaliating with the KNEE. After this Lu Bu would also be gravely wounded and use his strikeforce SSJ style power up, or maybe the one from like DW5 when he starts glowing, regardless they’d probably destroy wherever they are fighting in. Captain Falcon, if we’re going by Smash Bros, would instantly lose the moment the environment is destroyed because it’d count as a KO – he’d fall to his “death” so to speak, but then again, Lu Bu can fly and Captain Falcon’d probably grab onto him and begin falcon-humping him. It’s a close one, but in the end I think he victory goes to Lu Bu simply because of his regenerating health cheats from DW2.

Winner: Lu Bu..barely.

SEMI-FINALS

• Ryu Hayabusa VERSUS Honda
  
• Lu Bu VERSUS Link
  

Ryu Hayabusa VERSUS Honda

Hmm, both from Japan. One a ninja, one a samurai. A fitting way to start the semi-finals! Much like with the other Captain, Ryu would want the element of surprise on his side, and would probably hit Honda with a charged ultimate attack from the shadows, or perhaps a bow/ninpo attack, either way he would have the advantage initially, at which point hiding would be useless. Honda would have the edge in raw speed and power thanks to tenbu, but Ryu would have more ways to regenerate his own health with items, although it’d be impossible for him to land another ultimate as Honda wouldn’t give him time to attack most likely, let alone charge up an attack. Even with 3 ninpos granting him certain damage, I highly doubt it would be ENOUGH damage to finish Honda. As such, the victory would eventually go to Honda. A very bloody and beaten Honda.

Winner: Honda

Lu Bu VERSUS Link

Well, Link would first off need to find ways around Lu Bu’s ridiculous speed and strength, whilst the Fierce Deity mask would certainly grant him equal strength and a ranged advantage, he’d still be at a loss for speed, and swordsman to swordsman, Lu Bu is superior so Link wouldn’t be going toe to toe this time. I figure he would use the song of storms to blanket the surrounding area in heavy rain, although that’d be a mistake as Lu Bu’s home ground are the primordial mists of DW2. So failing that, he’d then clear the rain with the sun’s song, and then use zelda’s lullaby to make Lu Bu drift into sleep, but standard RPG mechanics rule here, one hit and he wakes up. So how can Link possibly land one hit strong enough to crush Lu Bu in one fell swoop? Certainly, if he was Captain Falcon he could falcon punch, but that option isn’t open to him here. Giant’s mask? Stamp on him? Goron mask, roll into him? Charge up the master sword? Hookshot him into lava? I think only the Giant’s mask and stamping on him would work at any degree that he wanted, but aside from the fact that he can only use it in Twinmold’s lair, Lu Bu can and has survived towers falling on him, he brushes it off as a tiny amount of damage, at which point he would wake up and start flying up to Link to stab him in the face (as yes, he can fly.) So uh.. I think in the end, Link would just forfeit and retreat whilst Lu Bu’s asleep. Link’s not an idiot, afterall.

Winner: Lu Bu

FINALS

Lu Bu VERSUS Tadakatsu Honda

So after a long and perhaps slightly predictable tournament, it indeed comes down to the two DW/SW characters. Whilst I may be a little biased, it goes to show just how absurdly broken and overpowered tenbu is. There’s not really many video game characters who have powers above that, other than stuff like Giorno from the JoJo PS2 game, or someone cheap like the Flash, but they’d win something like this without even trying. Anyway, so naturally as they both have tenbu they would have near equal strength and speed, and Lu Bu and Honda have near equal levels of skills too, Honda has a slight range advantage, but overall Lu Bu’s moves are better. Even so, Lu Bu has the advantage due to, mostly, experience. He has not only his DW2 health regen, but his DW3 pushback which would help immensely. As for the stage? They’d be fighting in the DW3 spike arena. No escape. It would be so incredibly close and there’s not much to say, as the only factors to consider are their individual skill, and whilst it could go either way, in the end I think the victory goes to Lu Bu. Why? As I said, experience. That..and his DW2 health regen. Still, they’d both be on red health by the end of it..Lu Bu would just get “lucky” in that his musou bar recharged first.

First Place: Lu Bu

Second Place: Tadakatsu Honda

Third Place: Ryu Hayabusa

So there you have it. Lu Bu is the winner of the Grand Kao-Cup Vidja Tournament. He is the strongest, not only in China, but the entire world..speaking of the world, I’m fairly certain that Dio would time stop at the award ceremony and kill everyone there present and proclaim himself the strongest. There’s a reason I didn’t include characters from JoJo or Marvel or whatever. They’re just too broken to even consider. However, honorable mentions go to Samus, Conker, Neo, Kyle Katarn and Gordon Freeman. All of which were people I thought I’d put in but then decided against it in the interest of not-wanting-this-t0-take-100-years.

Did you guess correctly who would win?

Dio thought Captain Falcon was going to win.

FRAHLO! FRAHLO! FRAHLOOOYEAAAAAH!

Perhap you can guess, judging from the title of this post, what song just came on in foobar. Not that it’s relevant.

Anyway yeahs, something I, and no doubt many people have noticed in recent(?) years is “the bad guys are always better”, so to speak. What do I mean by this? I’ll use obvious examples, look at the WoW, the Warhammer MMO and the KotoR MMO, in all the cinematics of these things, the “bad” guys win. Yeah yeah I know the horde aren’t technically evil but come on Blizzard, you’re not fooling anyone trying to be LOL WE ARE DEEP. I don’t really get it. I’m not sure whether they’re trying to be all like “YEH DA BAD GUYS WIN HERE WE R SO DIFRENT” or what. For one thing, I don’t understand why people are always so obsessed with playing the bad guys. Sure, it’s a matter of preference but the opinion is overwhelmingly biased towards the “bad guys”. The Undead, the Sith, whatever. It just kind of..annoys me. Why? Well, I like to play as “neutral” characters mostly. Be it “true neutral” or otherwise. I’m not really sure how the official description goes, but in my eyes, neutral characters normally lean more towards good. They’re like..normal people. They’re not police, and they’re not terrorists. People are generally inclined to be good. That being said, if it’s a black and white choice, I’ll use the good characters over the bad characters most of the time.

Yeah sure there’s people who always whinge about “moralfags” or whatever but they are mostly just trolls and should be ignored regardless, let’s face it. In all honesty though, I’m not really sure why I prefer to play good characters, and I’m not sure why most people seem to prefer bad characters. I generally assumed it was just the whole “lol im 14 hating ppl is cool” and stuff. It’s sort of an issue as most of the people I know seem to be more inclined to play Sith or Horde in KotOR or WoW or whatever. It’s not a HUGE issue obviously as I don’t really have any particular urge to play WoW or KotOR’s MMO. I think it could be interesting to do a survey and think about this stuff more so; seeing if there’s any relation between say, age/gender and what alignment you’d choose..possibly, who knows. Me though? I’m always stuck in a slight problem, Paladin’s are my favourite of the archtype classes, but Paladin’s -have- to be lawful good, whereas I lean towards neutral good. My characters follow their own laws most of the time, what they think is right and wrong. Obviously that’s a bit of a quandary. I can work around that with Mont in FFID because his powers don’t technically from the Light, they come directly from a Naaru, but even for Mont there’ll be some surprises in the “near” future.

Besides, good always wins in the end. Why? Because ultimately, whoever wins is right, and decides what is good.

Palpatine did not agree. He got thrown down a well.

DW week…

…Is soon, I wonder if I still have that banner from last year? Hmm. Come to think of it, I’ve not actually even pre-ordered Empires yet, I better go do that now.